1. What will you say for each other?
Your wedding, first and foremost, is about the two of you, so keep it emotionally vested by doing the following:

• Borrow wedding videos from other couples and, when viewing the exchange of vows, think about what you like best and least and what you can adapt for your own vows.
• Give the person who will conduct the ceremony a chance to get to know you both. Have a consultation to discuss the tone of the wedding, sharing how you met and what you love about each other. This personal information will help the officiant work with you to design the ceremony you want. If you don't have an officiant in mind (such as the cleric at your house of worship), ask around, or go to the website of the National Association of Wedding Officiants (www.nawoonline.com) to find one in your area.

From Real Simple: Wedding Planning: Common Problems, Solved

2. What will you say for your higher power?
You may want to ask that your union be blessed by God or to otherwise acknowledge the spiritual ramifications marriage holds for you. If you both follow the same religion, you may simply ascribe to its vows and rituals. If your spiritual leanings are less defined, or if the two of you were raised with different faiths, have a soul-searching discussion with your fiancé. Talk about what brings meaning and value to your life and how best to incorporate this in your ceremony. Start this conversation early, and make no assumptions.

Once you both have an idea of the spiritual tone you want to strike, find the best person or people to perform it -- a member of the clergy, a locally licensed secular humanist, a justice of the peace, or a judge. (Tip: Experience with weddings is a plus in an officiant, especially when it comes to recommending readings, music, and prayers.) And consider enacting a ritual -- such as lighting a unity candle or sharing a glass of wine.

Alternatively, you can ask a trusted friend to perform the wedding. Fees, forms, and how-tos differ by state, but your county clerk's office is a good place to start researching. Interested parties can become ordained online through the nondenominational Universal Life Church Monastery (www.themonastery.org), for free, or through Rose Ministries (www.openordination.org), which offers several packages, from $29 to $149. (Note: Not all states recognize these kinds of marriages, so research the laws in your area to make sure your union is legal.)

3. What will you say for your guests?
Though it is your day, you should give some thought to your guests, particularly your parents (especially if they're footing the bill). Consider integrating them into the ceremony thus:

• Have the officiant ask a question or two (for example, "Will you celebrate with John and Jane, encourage them, and remind them as needed of this day?"), to which the assembly replies, "I will."
• While it's traditional to exchange vows with your backs to the assembly, choose to have the bride, the groom, and the wedding party facing front, with the officiant off to the side or with his or her back to the audience.

Time-Saving Tip: For wedded bliss with brevity, consider heading to city hall, where a judge or a justice of the peace will officiate. The ceremony lasts about three minutes (not counting the wait in line, which varies). Contact your city hall for information about fees, reservations, and the number of guests you're allowed to bring.

Learn How to Choose the Perfect Wedding Dress for Your Body Type at Real Simple.

Traditional
Who Should Choose Them: Couples who aren't sure what they want and those who suffer from stage fright, since the officiant does most of the talking at the wedding ceremony. If you and your fiancé have strong ties to a particular religion and you just won't "feel married" unless you repeat the words you've associated with weddings for as long as you can remember, traditional vows may suit you best. Couples who wish to keep their intimate feelings private should pick the traditional-wedding-vows option as well.

What to Know: A requirement of most ceremonies in the United States involves what the Book of Common Prayer, used by Anglican-Christian organizations worldwide, calls the "declaration of consent" (usually referred to as the "question of intent"), in which the couple must indicate they enter into marriage of their own free will ("Do you take this man..."). However, in many weddings, this declaration is followed by the exchange of vows, with the couple facing each other as they speak (think of the widely recognized "for richer for poorer" vow sequence). These days most people refer to both of these elements as "the vows," although your average city-hall ceremony will often include only one question: the question of intent.

Sample Script: Look no further than this classic, concise wording from the marriage of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Beaulieu on May 1, 1967. (Sideburns optional.)

Officiant: Elvis, do you take Priscilla to be your wedded wife, to live together in bonds of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, so long as you both shall live?
Elvis: I, Elvis, take thee, Priscilla, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish.

Resources and Tips:

• For wedding-related Bible readings, personalized readings, and sample vows, poems, and passages, visit www.foreverwed.com/ceremony.
• Pick up a copy of The Everything Wedding Vows Book: Anything and Everything You Could Possibly Say at the Altar -- and Then Some, by Janet Anastasio and Michelle Bevilacqua (Adams Media Corp., www.amazon.com), or Bartlett's Words for the Wedding, by Brett Fletcher Lauer and Aimee Kelley (Little, Brown & Company, www.amazon.com), for some ideas.
• Once you find something you like, ask the officiant to adapt the language to reflect your beliefs. Even a religious wedding may be individualized by modernizing traditional language.

Time-Saving Tip: If you and/or your spouse intends to change names in any way, order extra copies of your marriage certificate when you apply for the marriage license. You may be required to present it to organizations like the department of motor vehicles.

More from Real Simple:
Tips on Self-Written Wedding Vows
5 Bridesmaid Gifts for Under $50
Wedding-Day Beauty Tips

I simply couldn’t understand the awe the custom inspired in these parts of western Pennsylvania and eastern Ohio—until I came face to face with the cookie table itself. It was a wonder, with acres of colorful baked treats, perhaps a couple thousand of them, each one more extravagant than the next. All were arranged like jewels on tiers of silver platters that had been carefully adorned with tulle and lace.

Gourmet's favorite cookies from 1941-2008: The most amazing recipe from each year.

Liz Nohra, curator of a cookie-table exhibit at the local history museum in Youngstown, Ohio, traces the custom back to immigrants—mostly Italians, Eastern Europeans, and Greeks—who worked in the steel mills and perhaps couldn’t afford a wedding cake. As to where the custom originated—Youngstown or Pittsburgh—no one is certain. At Our Lady of Mount Carmel church, in Youngstown, it can take all day to set up a proper cookie table. The record number at one wedding, according to Lou Fusillo, who manages the catering for the church, is 15,000 cookies. People may notice the bride’s dress or and swoon at the flowers, he says, but it’s not a successful wedding until guests pronounce judgment on the table. “And there better be lots of cookies,” he adds.

Usually, the bride’s family does most of the baking, but everyone is welcome to pitch in. Bakers win points for creating bite-sized delicacies that come from family recipes, and the more difficult to make the better. The most popular cookie may be the ladylock, a flaky pastry horn with a silky cream filling. It’s also called a clothespin cookie, because grandmothers wrapped the pastry around a wooden clothespin that was later extracted to make space for the cream filling. Another favorite is the pizzelle, a flat wafer, round and lacy, like a snowflake, with a whisper of anise or lemon. And everyone loves the buttery Greek and Italian wedding cookies, dusted with powdered sugar, as well as the Czech kolaches, rolled leaves of dough that are either crispy with nuts or sweet and chewy with fruit.

There are wonderful tales of the angry aunt whose specialty wound up at the back of the display and a bride’s family fallen into disgrace when store-bought cookies turned up in the mix. But most of the lore surrounding the cookie table is about happy times. “It’s a way of bringing people into your celebration,” says Nohra, “sharing a heritage of family and food.” And the cookie table is spreading; she has tracked them not only to weddings but also to anniversary celebrations, graduations, showers, and baptisms as far away as West Virginia, Virginia, New York, New Jersey, and Delaware. I can vouch for one turning up in Connecticut. When I got married there last summer, my Pittsburgh relatives staged a cookie table full of our family favorites. The wedding cake made quite a splash, but it was the cookies that stole the show. 

Ever thought about making your own wedding cake? Read on as one woman learns baking a friend's wedding cake is no piece of cake.

By Becky Aikman

Photograph by Stephanie Foley for Gourmet

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Social Vignettes

Small, intimate areas that are specifically designated for guests to socialize at your reception, also known as “social vignettes,” are fun and fashionable hot spots.  They are an innovative way for family members to reconnect and guests to get acquainted.  Food and/or entertainment activities, such as chic lounge areas with port and hand-rolled cigars; ice cream, candy, or dessert bars; or a vintage photo booth, are just a few of the social vignettes that your guests will love!

Designer Décor

Accenting your event space with fun, colorful, and creative designer touches is a fast- growing trend. Elaborate florals, ambient lighting, textured linens, and unique furniture all pay tribute to the couple’s personal design.  Tone-on-tone or big and bold, color is no longer dictated by the season, with many brides choosing to decorate the site using the fall palette with hues of red, plum, orange, and yellow. The always-elegant black and white, accented with a pop of red, is another color combo that never loses its allure.

Signature Weddings

Another hot wedding wave is incorporating the couple’s personal hobbies or interests and weaving them into the wedding event.  For a distinctive effect, wedding logos or the couple’s monogram are infused on invitations, menus, programs, and place cards. An even bolder and brighter statement made by couples is displaying their personal insignia in lights on the dance floor!  For the bride and groom who are golf enthusiasts, the couple could treat their bridal party to a golf outing, construct a mini putting green at the wedding, present golf balls as guest favors, or even use a golf cart as the couple’s transportation to and from the venue. These personal, signature touches will make your wedding a one-of-a-kind event.

Wedding Cuisine

What’s old is now new again!  Resurging from the past is wedding cuisine served family-style. Back in vogue are comfort foods such as meatloaf, or tri-tip with mashed potatoes, served on platters to guests seated on long tables. Reminiscent of holiday gatherings, this method of dinner service makes for lively dinner conversation. Food stations are another social food concept.  These mini food arenas can be demonstration or action stations, serving ethnic or themed cuisine.

Destination Weddings

Continuing to grow in popularity are destination weddings. Choosing an exotic or romantic setting has increased 400% in the last 10 years, with 16% of all couples now planning a wedding from afar. Las Vegas , Hawaii , and the California Wine Country top the list in the U.S.  Depending on the locale, and with typically less guests to entertain, couples can save big money on these destination events. Imagine a ceremony on the beach, sea shells lining the wedding aisle, and a barefoot bride and groom saying their I-Do’s against a stunning sunset backdrop.  Or what about a ceremony in the vineyards surrounded by grape-laden vines, feasting on fabulous Wine Country cuisine, paired with award-winning wines, then followed by a weekend of wine tasting and hot air balloon rides!

Green Weddings

Green weddings are another hot and chic wedding trend that won’t raise global warming!  Environmentally conscious couples are incorporating earth-friendly touches into their special day. Selecting caterers who recycle and serve organic, fresh, and locally grown food is an easy choice to save the planet. Other earth-friendly options include hybrid cars for transportation; invitations, menus, and programs made from recycled paper; giving to charitable organizations, such as SavethePlanet.org, in lieu of favors; or using live plants or potted flowers as table centerpieces.

Use these hot wedding ideas to design a spectacular wedding event that will not only signify your personal tastes, but amaze your guests with creativity, pizzazz, and style!

________________________________________________________________________

“Stress Free, Leave the Details to Me,” is the tried and true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding.  Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into the perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day and Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines, and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, “The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country.” www.a-dreamwedding.com

©2009 Robbin Montero

707-579-5886

www.a-dreamwedding.com

This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero’s expressed written permission.

But wedding-goers be warned. You may soon experience a new nuptial tradition in the form of wedding pie.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports that more and more people are requesting pie as a supplement to their wedding cake, or else are asking to have pie as the main dessert.

And as noted by Vincent Rossmeier, an avid pie lover, there are plenty of reasons to choose this delicacy over the common cake.

First, it’s cheaper, with wedding pies going for about $15 for the entire shebang, the same price for one piece of cake. Pies can also feature seasonal fruits such as strawberry and apple. And with pie, it’s the filling that counts, not the frosting.

"Pie is moist where cake is too often arid; it's complex where cake is too often banal," Rossmeier explains. "Pie offers me lasting contentment, whereas all cake can tender is a cloying sugar rush."

It’s not just the traditional dessert that’s changing this wedding season.

Forget long flowing dresses, this spring is all about the miniskirt wedding dress.  Other trends include having flower girls dress up as fairies, wings and wands in tow.

Animals are even getting in on the bridal scene, with women walking their dog down the aisle with them or else riding a horse to the alter.

Going green is another (continuing) trend this season. Couples are trying to be eco-friendly by using organic flowers, invitations and food.

Personally, we believe wedding cookies should be the next "big" thing.

Just think about it. You can entertain children at the wedding by letting them decorate their own dessert. Or a pastry chef could create individual cookies that look like each of the wedding guests. The possibilities are endless...

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Written by Kayda Norman for YourTango.com

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Look to the heavens and discover what your astrological sign considers a wedding made in, well, heaven!

ARIES
Your matrimonial style is bold and dynamic, confident and unconventional. The Aries bride wouldn't dream of wearing a white wedding dress. Instead, she'll swath herself with colorful fabrics -- reds, blues and blacks with metallic thread -- and rich textures such as silk brocades, taffeta and velvet. And yes, that's her strutting down the aisle with hipster hair. The Ram groom? Don't expect to find him in Las Vegas. He's headed to the great outdoors for a whitewater-rafting stag party.

TAURUS
You'll find the Taurus bride -- hand-in-hand with her husband-to-be -- tucked away in a cozy bed and breakfast, or a lush park. She'll opt for traditional vows and an intimate gathering sans attendants. Dressed in an unadorned, sleeveless gown, the Bull bride will wear her mother's pearl necklace and carry a single calla lily. The Taurus groom is tasteful and appropriate, donning a white linen shirt or a wool sport coat, depending on the season. Expect a honeymoon in the rugged Pacific Northwest.

GEMINI
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas for the whimsical Gemini. A handful of close friends will pile onto a plane and head to Sin City for a wedding -- nothing but an Elvis-officiated ceremony will do. Afterward, it's champagne, nightclubs and limos for this wild party. You won't find the Gemini bride in a traditional wedding dress: she'll drape herself with exotic fabrics, and top it off with dramatic eyeliner and bold lipstick. After a lightning-fast service, the newlyweds will end up in the honeymoon suite's heart-shaped tub.

CANCER
Check reality at the door, because the Cancer wedding is an all-out Cinderella story. The bright church will be filled with tulle-adorned arrangements bursting with summer blossoms -- orchids, roses and dahlias. The bride will glide down the aisle in a bell-shaped ballroom gown encrusted with pearls and Swarovski crystal. At the alter, several family members and high-school friends will be in attendance. A horse-drawn carriage will whisk the newlywed couple to a black-tie reception overflowing with champagne, hollandaise sauce and roast beef. Don't be surprised if the adventurous couple heads to Disneyland to complete the fantasy.

Ancient rings were forged of iron, to last forever like marriage.

Gold wedding rings, tiered cakes with icing, the long, white gown—all are  traditions we associate with modern weddings. However, these traditions have roots in practical, romantic and odd ancient customs.

For example, the sweet, iced wedding cakes served today spring from more humble, flat  “grooms-cakes” made by a family member. As young unmarried girls left the reception, they took a piece of grooms-cake displayed on the table and wrapped in a piece of bridal veil. The single lady then placed the cake under her pillow at night and dreamed of her future groom!

Other wedding cake traditions centered on fertility. In one, the actual wedding pound cake was broken up and sprinkled over the couple to assure their fertility. Today we throw rice or birdseed. The stacking of wedding cakes began as a ritual in which the bride and groom would see how many cakes they could reach over for a kiss. The number of stacked cakes predicted the number of children they would have. A 13th century Frenchman began icing stacked cakes, starting the style of wedding cakes we know today and look upon merely as delicious good luck symbols.

           
Have you ever wondered about the origin of the phrase “tying the knot”? In ancient tribal days, a girl was wrapped in a sheet with a knot tied in the front, signifying to the groom and his family that she was a virgin. The groom had the privilege of untying the knot on their wedding night.

Weddings are pivotal in all cultures. In some primitive tribes the bride and bridesmaids dress identically. Because superstition played a role in shaping the ceremony and celebrations, dressing the women in the wedding party alike was thought to confuse evil spirits. (In more recent, but still superstitious times, the ringing of church bells and the release of doves also helped ward off evil and blue was the color that signified purity.)

           
A tribal best man’s duties were somewhat unusual. When women were scarce, it was the job of a tribe’s best warrior to steal potential brides from neighboring tribes. The groom-to-be and the warrior would sneak off under cover of darkness. The warrior would then club the chosen bride over the head and literally abduct her! The event turned into a swashbuckling drama as the “best man” would then adeptly fight off angry relatives, should the girl awaken prematurely and cry out.

           
Later in Europe , unhappy relatives had a practical role in shaping customs. The best man, in a warrior-like role, stood to the right of the groom, sword in hand, to stop intruding clan members.

           
Flower girls and ring bearers are newer additions to wedding parties. A flower girl first appeared in the middle ages, bearing wheat to symbolize fertility. The ring bearer was added mainly for symmetry.

           
Especially in this country, girls dream of wearing a flowing white wedding gown from an early age, thanks to Anne of Brittany. She donned a white gown to marry King Louis VII of France in 1499. Prior to this, women just wore the best dress they owned. American brides also carry on the quaint custom of wearing “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue” to bring them luck.

           
The most enduring symbol of marriage, the circular wedding ring symbolizes eternal love and devotion. Ancient rings were forged of iron, to last forever like marriage. Today’s gold and platinum rings are still placed on the third finger of the left hand. This is a holdover from an old belief that a vein ran directly from the heart to the ring finger. To this day some brides still believe it is bad luck to remove their wedding ring for any reason.

“Stress Free, Leave the Details to Me,” is the tried and true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding.  Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into the perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day and Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines, and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, “The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country.” www.a-dreamwedding.com

©2009 Robbin Montero

707-579-5886

www.a-dreamwedding.com

This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero’s expressed written permission.

Vows. The obligatory phrase for the bride to “honor and obey” her husband has been replaced with numerous alternatives more reflective of equality in the relationship, especially when couples define their relationship in self-composed vows.

Honoring parents. Jewish tradition for the groom to enter with both parents, followed by the bride with her parents, is being borrowed for Christian ceremonies. It acknowledges the importance of both parents and their contributions in preparing the couple for success.

Wedding march escorts. If the father is unavailable or it is a second marriage, brides may walk alone or with another important figure of either gender. A sibling, mother, grandfather, son or very close friend make suitable escorts.

Parents as members of the bridal party. There is growing acceptance of including parents in the bridal party, even as “man of honor” and “best woman” if that is what the bridal couple wants.

Not necessarily two-by-two.  Brides and grooms needn’t worry about an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Feel free to include only your most cherished friends or loved ones, even if it means you will have three bridesmaids and he will have five groomsmen.

Bridal apparel. Theme weddings that have influenced bridal fashion. Burgundy, pink or champagne gowns, such as those worn for Renaissance-themed weddings, are becoming more popular. White and cream remain top gown color choices for first-time brides since the 1920s, but are also okay for second-time brides today. Brides should choose whatever makes them feel beautiful on this special day. Many bridesmaids applaud when the bride chooses elegant and slenderizing black for bridesmaids’ dresses. Men are foregoing the black and white tuxedo for more practical linen or contemporary suits they can wear later.

Wedding hosts. It is increasingly common for both sets of parents to be named as hosts on the invitation. Along with that, there is more interactive development of the wedding guest list.

Showers. Once considered a terrible breach of etiquette, sisters and close family members (but never the mother of the bride) can hostess bridal showers when serving as maid of honor. Couples showers are replacing bachelor and bachelorette parties, possibly because so many couples are marrying later or for a second time. I like this sensible nod to equality and less emphasis on old fashioned gender roles.

At the reception. Now that brides almost never live at their parents’ home when they marry, it is acceptable for guests and others to send wedding gifts to the bride’s residence before the wedding. Some guests insist on bringing gifts the day of the wedding, so a table is set up at the reception for this purpose. Guests, please do not deliver gifts to the wedding ceremony.

Wedding toasts to the health of newlyweds are standard at receptions. However, newlyweds who toast to their parents and guests who have traveled long distances add a very special reciprocal touch. 

Receiving lines have been on the decline in less formal weddings since the late 1980s. However, it will never go out of fashion for the bride and groom to visit each table to speak personally to every guest and thank them for their attendance.

If you are considering altering an accepted wedding or reception standard, ask yourself whether it will enhance the experience for you or if it will help you show appreciation to those who participate or attend. If the answer is “yes” to both questions, go for it.

“Stress Free, Leave the Details to Me,” is the tried and true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding.  Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into the perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day and Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines, and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, “The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country.” www.a-dreamwedding.com

©2009 Robbin Montero

707-579-5886

www.a-dreamwedding.com

This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero’s expressed written permission.